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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Doughnut Derby Week Four

Believe it or not, we're down from seven to four Derby contenders. Who earned Swizzle Sticks?

The first are the Browns, who rallied to beat the Raiders.

The Chiefs earned theirs by shutting out the 49ers.

The big surprise? The Texans, upsetting the slightly better favored Dolphins.


Tennessee: lousy game against the Cowboys marred by extreme fuckup committed by Alfred Haysneworth. The new commish finally gets to make his first statement; he's not going to tolerate shit like stomping on guys' unprotected heads.

Oakland: blew a lead to the Browns.

Lions: give 'em credit though, they did hang in there with the Rams.

Tampa Bay: Had a bye week.

WEEK FIVE MATCHUPS, now with snarky predictions

Bye, bye, byes: Falcons, Bengals, Seahawks, Texans. The four Doughnuts are in play!

Browns vs Panthers: ah, I don't think Cleveland will make it two in a row. Carolina's been gaining some steam now with Steve Smith back.

Bills vs. Bears: Bears 200, Bills 4.

Rams vs. Packers: The Aaron Rodgers Era finally begins. The Rams subsequently kick his ass.

Titans vs. Colts: Pity the insane folk that'd actually pick the Titans. Colts in a massacre.

Lions vs. Vikings: this may be moved to Monday night due to the Twinkies in the playoffs. I'll go for the upset and say the Lions. And the A's.

Dolphins vs. Patriots: every other year, Miami actually beats them. Not this time.

Buccaneers vs. Saints: for all the hype, Reggie Bush has done jack shit on the field. Still, the Saints win.

Chiefs vs. Cardinals: The Matt Leinart Era begins. The Chiefs kick his ass, too.

Jets vs. Jaguars: two weeks ago, Jacksonville was being touted as the team to beat in the AFC South. The Colts said otherwise. I'll give the Jags the edge over the Jets.

Raiders vs. 49ers: in the 80s, this would've been a marqee game. Now it's just the Bay City Toilet Bowl. The Raiders get flushed again.

Cowboys vs. Eagles: I refrain from commenting because this is the only sports news you'll hear about on ESPN till kickoff.

Sunday nighter pits Pittsburgh against San Diego. Both teams are reeling, but San Diego's been more consisent.

Monday night, Ravens vs. Broncos. Right now I'm saying about fifty rosaries and praying a lot more for my Broncos.

Oh yeah, since it's now baseball playoff time: GO TIGERS!


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