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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Toilet Bowl, Week Three

Here we go again, another week, another Toilet Bowl recap. Week Three started off with eleven Turds in the bowl. Believe it or not, we Plunged an impressive five teams this time around...
  • Starting off, a Plunge for the Vikings, who won more games this weekend than the rest of the NFC Norris, combined.
  • And a Plunge for the Jaguars, who stunned the Colts.
  • The Seahawks beat another Turd to earn their Plunge.
  • The Chargers beat the Jets on Monday Night for their Plunge.
  • And the biggest Plunge of all? THE DOLPHINS!!! Computer said "YES!!" to their chances against the Patriots. Jeez, there went my pick!!

So that leaves the Bowl emptier, with six Turds remaining....and heeeeere they are!!

  • The utterly pathetic St. Louis Rams, the givers of the Plunge to the Seahawks.
  • The even more pathetic Detroit Lions. When the son of the owner says he wishes he had the power to fire Matt Millen, it proves that your team is horrible, horrible, horrible. Oh yeah, lost to the 49ers.
  • GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! The Chiefs lost again, this time to the Falcons.
  • The Bengals, who lost in OT to the Giants
  • The Browns, who didn't bother showing up against Baltimore.
  • And the Texans, who lost to the Titans.

My picks panned out quite well...9-3-4, with my upset pick of the Jags turning out to be quite good. Overall standings, currently excluding the postponed Baltimore/Houston game, is 17-8-6.


BYEEES: Lions, Colts, Dolphins, Patriots, Giants, Seahawks. The Lions retain Turd status, as they're a pile of shit even when they're not playing. The other five are playing, but whom?

  • Falcons vs. Panthers. A battle of 2-1 teams. I think the Panthers will bounce back.
  • Browns vs. Bengals. An automatic Plunge goes to the winner of this game. The Browns have show ineptitude so far, so give it to the Bengals.
  • Texans vs. Jaguars. The Jaguars just got Plunged, but will Houston be as lucky this week? Nah. Jags.
  • Broncos vs. Chiefs. GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!, what an upset it would be were the Chefs to win. But not this time. Broncos, and this time they actually win by a bunch.
  • 49ers vs. Saints. San Fran has been a surprise so far. New Orleans, not so much. Another win for the team from the Bay.
  • Cardinals vs. Jets. Welcome to the Old Fart Bowl, with Kurt Warner taking on Brett Favre. The edge will go to the Man in Green. Jets.
  • Packers vs. Buccaneers. Ted Thompson said he'd give Aaron Rodgers a contract extension by Week Eight if he played well. The Packers promptly lost to Dallas. Apparently, Ted Thompson must be a big Brewers fan. Buccaneers.
  • Vikings vs. Titans. Blehh....but I'm going to avoid a take yer pick stance, so go with the Titans.
  • Chargers vs. Raiders. Who gives a shit? Will Lane Kiffin still be coach? Is anybody going to watch? Chargers.
  • Bills vs. Rams. Hah hah frickin' hah! Bills.
  • Redskins vs. Cowboys. Ain't done an upset pick here it is. Redskins.
  • SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY, FAITH HILL!! Eagles vs. Bears. Dull, dull, dull. Wait, the FOX lineup is new! New Family Guy! Eagles.
  • MONDAY NIGHT.....Ravens vs. Steelers. Interesting game. The Steelers have been a bit weaker than they've been, and I think the Ravens will win.


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