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Monday, September 15, 2008

Toilet Bowl, Week Two

And I'm on time for once!!!

To put things straight, let's see how many teams got the Plunge....

  • Washington, get your Plunger!! The Redskins rallied to beat the Saints.
  • You too, San Fran! The 49ers won in overtime against their fellow Turds from Seattle.
  • And a Plunger for Tampa Bay! The Buccaneers got on the win column by beating the Falcons.
  • And the Oakland Raiders (?!?) Yes, they got a Plunge against the, GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!
  • And finally, an obvious plunge for Peyton and his fellow Colts, although the Plunger looked like it was headed for Minnesota early in the game.

And that leaves us with an impressive eleven Turd Teams remaining in the Toilet Bowl. And heeeere they are!

  • The Seahawks, see San Fran's Plunge for details
  • The pathetic Rams, who got mauled by Eli and the Giants.
  • The Lions, who very nearly pulled off an upset against Green Bay. However, the Packer D stepped up big time in the waning moments of the game and kept Detroit in the Bowl.
  • Ditto the Vikings, who lost to the Colts despite leading 15-0.
  • GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!, it's the Chiefs, who lost to the Raiders of all teams.
  • A major surprise is the Chargers....yes, I bleed Denver Broncos orange and blue, but even I found that to be a crappy call at the end. But a loss is a loss.
  • The Bengals, who lost to the Titans.
  • The Browns, who lost a squeaker to the Steelers.
  • Those perennial shitheads, the Dolphins, who were utterly wasted by the Cardinals(!)
  • The Jaguars, who lost to the Bills
  • And it's not really their fault, but the Houston Texans are here. Of course, considering the events in Houston, football is the least of their problems.

MY RECORD WITH PICKS...I was 8-5-3. Although if you factor in the bye the Ravens and Texans got, it'd be 8-5-2.


  • Chiefs vs. Falcons. GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! Get used to reading that. Falcons.
  • Raiders vs. Bills. I'd never thought I'd see the day when the Raiders wouldn't be in bold this early. Bills.
  • Buccaneers vs. Bears. Da Bears still suck. Buccaneers.
  • Panthers vs. Vikings. Hmmm....I'll go with Panthers.
  • Dolphins vs. Patriots. I laugh. I laugh at the potential one-sidedness of this game. Patriots.
  • Bengals vs. Giants. It's Eli versus Chad StupidAssDumbFucker. In other news, there's no way the NFL would let you put that name on a jersey. Giants.
  • Texans vs. Titans. Here's yer upset pick...the Texans.
  • Cardinals vs. Redskins. No friggin' idea. Take yer pick.
  • Saints vs. Broncos. Hopefully the zebras won't be premature with the whistles this time. Broncos!
  • Lions vs. 49ers. Meh. Take yer pick.
  • Rams vs. Seahawks. Well, there's gonna be an automatic Plunge. Survey SAYS!! Seahawks.
  • Browns vs. Ravens. Bleh...Ravens.
  • Jaguars vs. Colts. Trap game! Trap game! Jags in an upset.
  • Steelers vs. Eagles. The Keystone State battle. Take yer pick.
  • NOTE TO SELF, TUNE IN ABOUT TWENTY AFTER INSTEAD OF A QUARTER AFTER...IT'LL STOP THE ANEURYSMS: Cowboys vs. Packers. Yoiks. The only thing worse than the possibility of Terrell Assbag Owens acting like his usual shithead self at Lambeau is the fact that the Brewers have decided to start their annual free-fall stinkup. Sorry, but I'm gonna have to go with the Cowboys.
  • IT'S THE TOP GEAR FINALE ALREADY? OH, COCK!!: Jets vs. Chargers. I can either watch The Hamster get pwned by some bulls, or Brett Fave going nuts out West. The choice is simple, the Brewers get their asses kicked again. Take yer pick.


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