SPECIAL: South Park/Drawn Together Recap Extravaganza!!!

That was a mouthful!

November 16 may very well be a day to remember for animation fans. Particularly fans of South Park. Last week, in the blog published by South Park Studios, Anne Garafino hinted at an episode that was really wild. Really, really wild.

"Trapped in the Closet" is now the Official Best South Park Episode Skewering Current Events of All Time. After it aired last night, there may be massive feedback flowing into Comedy Central headquarters.

To begin;

• Stan takes a personality test administered by the church of Scientology (note I didn't capitalize "church" as it conflicts big time with my faith). This type of plot was referred to in "Toilet Paper" when Cartman creates the alibi for the boys.
• As it turns out, Stan is depressed, and is scanned for some bizarro thetans or crap like that. After his thetans--ah, screw it. Mitachlorians!!!!---are off the chart, the people believe him to be the second appearance of L. Ron Hubbard.
• This is where pure comic gold is made. Of course, all the Scientologists arrive at the Marsh house, thinking Stan is their leader reincarnated.
• The president of the group then tells Stan the most bizarrething I've ever heard in my life. It involves something named Zenu, and souls frozen in volcanoes, and special brainwashing facilites and shit like that.
• The highlight during the narrative is the disclaimer "THIS IS WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE." I almost pissed myself laughing. How can someone be that stupid to believe in a science fiction story?
• Tom Cruise, for one. After Stan rightfully disses his films, he traps himself in Stan's closet.
• Which sets off the running gag of the episode...Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet. I also once again nearly pissed myself laughing.
• R Kelly makes an appearance, singing about Tom in the closet, then threatening to cap a bitch. The R Kelly appearance in necessary, seeing as some song of his is the title of this ep.
• Even John Travolta tries to get Tom out, only to end up in there himself. hmmm....
• Surprisingly, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman only appear in this episode for a brief scene. I would have thought Kyle would have been in it longer trying to save Stan from a nasty fate. After all, Stan was able to convince Kyle not to attend Jewliard because that douche John Edward said to.
• Meanwhile, Stan learns what Scientology really is. I won't repeat it here because either you already know, or I'm trying to save my ass. I'll mention that reason later.
• Oh yeah, R Kelly ends up in the closet too, after a singalong with Travolta and Cruise.
• Props to the Nicole Kidman cameo.
• What, no Penelope Cruz reference?
• Stan finally tells the Scientologists that he isn't L. Ron Hubbard.
• What do the Scientologists do? What they do best....sue.
• Stan doesn't give a shit.
• At which point we go to credits, featuring John Smith and Jane Smith. After the first time I watched it, I wasn't thrilled with another shitty ending, and was set to give it four Dews.
• Fortunately, that where one good person at Right Nation came in. "Leaf" posted a fantastic thread which can be found here. That was able to give me the explanation.
• To put it simply....Messrs. Smith gave their staff those common names, just in case the Scientologists sue. Isn't protection fun?
• Overall, it was a perfect episode done in trademark South Park fashion.

OVERALL SCORE: Five Dews.

DRAWN TOGETHER: Wooldoor's Change!!

This was interesting. Wooldoor experiences puberty and begins to, you know, play with himself. Clara, of course takes offense and vows to stop him. Wooldoor then shows off his new technique...which results in a "klum baby." Clara shows Wooldoor the dangers of self-pleasure (complete with the cliched blind boy with a dirty hand)...but the klum baby cures the kid.

Of course, Foxxy and SPANKY!!! capitalize by selling the babies as a miracle cure.

Meanwhile, the subplot focuses on Ling Ling (whoo!) and his many lovers, er, battles. His parents send him another one, by the name of Ni-pul (get it??). The romance starts off well but like others, soon wears off. That is, until Ni-pul convinces Ling Ling to stop calling it "battles" and call it sex. NOTE: anybody know the song that was playing during the battle?

Meanwhile, Clara becomes extremely angry that Wooldoor's klum babies are curing people, so she brings in some help. That's right, The Veggie Fables. Larry the Tomato and Bob the Cucumber are able to convince Wooldoor to stop choking his chicken.

Of course, that's when Clara gets the consumption and seeks a klum baby. This incenses Bob, who proceeds to kill everybody except Wooldoor. Wooldoor is cornered until a klum baby cures Bob of his psychosis. At which point Bob realizes what he did and offs himself. This leaves Wooldoor free to punch his munchkin as he pleases.

Overall....it was funny, but the ending scared me. Considering Comedy Central didn't advertise a new episode, I wonder if this was the season finale or in the case of SP, a Thanksgiving vacation. The episode merits Three and a half Dews.