Reality Bytes....the Hump Day Extravaganza!!

Aren't Wednesdays lovely? Especially today in windy Wisconsin. I guess there is a way to cheer people up...a reality update. In two sections!!

CELEBRITIES MAKING ASSES OF THEMSELVES

We should only be so lucky...VH1 is giving us a third season of Celebrity Fit Club. Let's face it; there's nothing more entertaining than watching overweight Hollywood Hasbeens try to shed a few pounds, right? (NOTE: I'm not supermodel size either, but I'm not going to exploit myself on cable TV either)

Who's the Lucky Eight, you ask? VH1 received commitments from these quasi-famous folk:

• Chastity Bono, aka Sonny and Cher's kid.
• Bruce Vilanch...I see the Hollywood Squares fans jumping up and down there. Sit down, Whoopi!
• Kelly LeBrock. Name sounds familiar, but damned if I don't remember what she was in.
• Young MC. From "Bust a Move" to "Bust an Ass to Burn Calories."
• Countess Vaughn, of Moesha & The Parkers fame. She was also in the Marla Gibbs/Jackee series 227.
• Jeff Conway. Isn't he the guy from Taxi & Grease that nobody remembers?
• Tempestt Bledsoe, one of the Huxtable kids. I see she's following Keisha Knight Pulliam in the "Embarrass Oneself on National TV" trend.
• Bizzare. Yay, another rapper!!

There's no airdate set for CFC3, but I pray that Harvey Walden returns.

Meanwhile, on Really Shitty Celebrity Singers, the audience took mercy on Joe Pantoliano, Kim Alexis and some woman I've never heard of. Back for more torture are Morgan Fairchild, William Hung's sister, one of those damned annoying Gotti kids, Jagger, Larry Holmes, and the Power Ranger.

PEOPLE THAT'LL DO ANYTHING TO GET ON THE TV.

Kiddies, if you want to see how NOT to conduct oneself on TV, please watch Martha Stewart's Apprentice tonight. Jim, you asshat, I'll be surprised if Martha doesn't find you as a bad fit.

Of course, you're better off watching Lost. Somebody's going to die, you know, and it's a female. I know who, but I'll be damned if I'm going to spoil it; I'll be watching Martha Stewart's Apprentice anyways.

If you like watching Donald Trump firing some asses, tomorrow's Apprentice has the teams working on Star Wars stuff. This, along with the Chewbacca getting fired ad, screams shark.

Oh, yah. Simon Cowell likes some Irish girl that auditioned for AI. Simon liking somebody? Whoa!

Finally, watch Judd become a drunken ass on Survivor tomorrow. It screams "laughs!" and "AA!"

That'll wrap it up for this reality byte. As always, look for updates as they happen.