The Sports Letters Page

Dear Reggie Bush,
Please turn pro this season. Green Bay could really use your services now.

Regards,
A Stilled Pissed-Off Broncos Fan (DAMN YOU ELI MANNING!!)



Dear Tony Stewart,
Please be a smart-ass some more, to the point where someone will get pissed and punch you in the balls.

Cordially,
The Gordon fan who just returned to the fold


Dear Tony Stewart...
Kindly disregard that letter. You say some funny shit sometimes....but Johnson's still gonna kick your ass and take the Cup.
DRIVE FOR FIVE IN '06, BEEYOTCH!!

(....this letter would have been finished but the doctor came with the injection)



Dear Scott Podsednik,
Do that thing you do.

Sincerely,
The Brewers Fan That Felt Trading You for Carlos Lee Was Good for Everybody


To: Terrell Owens, Chad Johnson, Hines Ward and other NFL Players/Aspiring Broadway Dancers
From: Disgruntled Football Fans

Please, knock this shit off. Thank you.



Yep, the mailbag's empty. Stay tuned for more letters and crap, courtesy of The Olson Files.