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Friday, July 21, 2006

Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler, Bitches!!

Translated: Let the good times roll, bitches!!

It's the third weekend of July, which means my hometown of Ladysmith, WI (Unofficial Motto: "Keep Driving, Bitches! Well, until next summer when Wal-Mart opens. But Just Keep Driving!") throws on its annual festival of drunken asses puking on the tilt-a-whirl and wasting Lord knows how many gallons of water.

The Northland Mardi Gras (just like the New Orleans one except for no fights, riots or women flashing their tits for cheap DVD productions, and it takes place in July) may be one of the few highlights of the summer. Until the fair (and the annual Demo Derby brawl), but that's another blog entry.

Here's a little blurb from our local rag, The Ladysmith News:

"Sixty years ago a contest was held to pick a new name for the 'Victory' edition of the Ladysmith Water Carnival, the first after World War II. Mrs. P.A. LeHew submitted the winning entry, and the 1946 celebration was rechristened 'Mardi Gras of the Northland ‹ Ladysmith's Water Carnival on the Famous Flambeau,' which was later shortened to Northland Mardi Gras."

You can wake up now.

For four days, the Ladysmith Jaycees throw on the N.M.G., complete with various activites.

The events start the week before with the crowning of the Mardi Gras Queen. The Queen is usually finished with her junior year, and has a shitload of accolades and community work on her resume. The day after features the crowning of a bunch of other Mardi Gras royalty, but no Krewe. The hell?

The following Thursday (the 20th), the ribbon cutting ceremony occurs. The two courts, the grand marshals, and our mayor cut some ribbon they probably got at Pamida, and the Mardi Gras begins. The highight for the first night are the rides and the beer garden. Emphasis on BOTH.

Friday has a tad bit more occuring; not only do we have rides and the Beer Garden (all hail Beer!), we have the first of the two Venetian Night Parades. Going back to our little blurb about the 1946 Water Carnival, this is pretty much one of the most fucking awesome things you'll see....if you live in a podunk town like me. The floats carrying various royalty are paraded down the Flambeau River as fireworks go off (the DNR is gonna love this...) and people get drunk and mosquito-bitten.

Saturday is the busiest day of the year, starting off with the Citizens' Water Fights (they oughta do that in the Middle's less bloody and you're less likely to die). The 3-on-3 Basketball tourney and co-ed (oooh!) volleyball tourney are also the athletic highlight. Add another Venetian Night Parade, rides, and BEER!, and that's pretty much Saturday.

Sunday is pretty much Parade Day. No liqour, insane freaks touching you in the wrong place, or girls gone wild, and a shitload of candy. The event winds down with, you guessed it, rides and beer.

And with that weekend out of the way, I'll be in Milwaukee again next weekend. It's Drunks vs. Commies, and you get free stuff to boot.

Keep cool!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Ya Know, It's Not the Heat....

But it's the gosh-darned humidity.

Right now it's roughly Too Fucking Hot out there, but since they can't say that on TV, it's about 90 degrees. Aw, fuck it. I'm sitting here---no, I'd say I'd be sweating my ass off but the house is now air-conditioned. Right now I'm in that "It's Too Fucking Hot" phase where you're happy at one point but on the verge of killing someone at another. Don't be alarmed if you don't see any more ramblings for a few days.