Now with 50% more fail!


Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Art and Jelly Babies

Bored with the Brewers/Cubs game, and still on an "Adipose" kick from the US premiere of the latest season of Doctor Who, yours truly farted around on the South Park Studio character generator (as opposed to re-generator...oh, I made a Who-related funny!)

Here's the BlanketyBlog manifestion of her favorite incarnation not named Christopher Eccleston:

Yeah, I know the scarf is off, but they didn't have the iconic one as an option. See, I even gave him a little bottle of God knows what.

Coming soon, the inevitable South Doc rendering of Christopher Eccleston.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

More "Green" Madness, not the environmental kind. Here's more Muppety goodness.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Happy Environmental Brainwashing of the Masses Day!!

God, I hate Earth Day.

No, I'm not anti-environment. I try recycling, limiting how much water and electricity I use, and try to avoid really really unnecessary trips in my ol' Saturn. However, I don't subscribe to the global warming bullshit and all this biofuel garbage. You know, instead of wasting tons of crops to turn into fuel, maybe they could feed those less fortunate people on our planet.

I think South Park got it right in their "Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow" episode, where the Earth Day people are featured as wackos who'll do anything to get their message across. The eco-terrorists, PETA, ManBearPig and his sheep/ilk, the "Use Only One Square of TeePee For Your Bunghole" crowd...they're all a bunch of fucking nitwits. Technically, I could go on and on about their hidden agendas that target the human populace, but you can do that research on your own.

Basically, here's the BlanketyBlog view on the environment: do your part, no matter how big, and don't subscribe to fucking cuckoo flavor of the month theories.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Even Muppets Screw Up!!

Want proof? Here you is...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Tales of Cinematic Hell

I just couldn't resist telling the Star Wars story. Honest! Just publishing that last post evoked memories of that seasonal Friday night in May almost three years ago.

I consider myself to be somewhat of a Star Wars fan. I'm not one of those pedants who know just about everything encompassing the SW universe; on the other hand, I'm not completely clueless as to some of the species and/or characters from the films. Back when it was a rarity to see the repeats of the first three films on TV (I was born before Return of the Jedi, and even then I was just a baby), I eagerly enjoyed watching the Death Star blow up, Yoda (back when he was only a mere puppet) making Luke Skywalker his bitch, and those damn Ewoks. All this time later, and I still enjoy the Ewoks.

Anyways, when plans were announced to make the first three episodes, I knew I had to go to le theatre and see them so I'd have something to tell any future children in my family. The Phantom Menace, I believe, I went to see in early August '99. I had recently gotten my drivers' license, so I took Turd Boy along with me. It was neat seeing new characters like Mace Windu, Boss Nass (BRIAN BLESSED!! All shall worship his name!!), Palpatine before he got all Sidious, Amidala, and of course, Qui-Gonn. The only drawback was the fact the film didn't start till about twenty minutes past the advertised 7 PM start time...and there were no freaking previews! Come to think of it, this was also the time when the geniuses that ran the theater felt it necessary to stick a fucking "Intermission" in between their flicks. That totally ruined The Spy Who Shagged Me, and here it just disrupted the flow.

On to 2002. The geniuses that ran the theater decided to show other shit before Attack of the Clones. That episode didn't hit our screens until September '02. This, even when the theater had sustained some slight damage from the F3 that went through town only a week before. Turd Boy had taken my older nephew to see it at the Lake 7 in Rice Lake back in July. There was no way I was going to pass up on my chance to see this, tornado or not. Methinks my favorite scene was Yoda whipping out the lightsaber; this after realizing Yoda sounded a helluva lot like Grover. (Yes, I knew before that fact that Frank Oz voiced Yoda; just watch anything with the Muppets and see how close some of the voices are. Bert sounds a tad like Fozzie, Ernie sounds like a lower-pitched Kermit, etc.) Yoda making the almost ancient Christopher Lee his bitch = win. Enjoyed that scene, I did.

So now we come to premiere night, May 2005. My sister had nothing else to do, and my older nephew so wanted to go. Turd Boy was in college at this point, but I believe he had planned on going to the Platteville multiplex.

The three of us knew that in this little town, there was going to be people wanting to see this, so we left early. We were somewhere in between the beginnng and middle of the line queue. After paying for our tickets and concessions, we made it into the theater room. So far, so good.

And then...they came.

The kids. Fucking hyper kids who apparently snorted lines of Pixy Stix chased down with shots of Coke. They shouted. They shouted some more. They ran around the fucking theater screaming "STAR WARS! STAR WARS"! at the top of their lungs. You had kids dressed up as Darth Vader. With lightsaber toys. It was almost a convention goer's vision of hell.

The movie finally started. Did the little bastards shut up and watch? Shit, no. During the opening scroll, they continued bellowing "STAR WARS! STAR WARS!" They DID NOT SHUT UP THROUGH THE ENTIRE FILM. Oh, people yelled at them to shut the fuck up. But did they listen? Shit, no. By the time the movie ended, many irate theatergoers were actually hoping assault could be legalized.

Fortunately, my rage and anger subsided when nephew got the DVD for his birthday and we sat in the TV room, with a bowl of popcorn and some Dews, and the lights off, finally enjoying what we were deprived of at the theater.

The one bright spot? During one of Yoda's scenes, my sister leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Grover."

On a totally unrelated note, I caught the replays of all six episodes on Spike TV. I was almost depressed to see the '04 version of RotJ where Hayden Christensen appears as Spirity Anakin at the end. They can put that in, but not the epic Ewok "Victory Celebration"? Blasphemy! I'm gonna have to find me some audio of that.

Yub Nub! Yub Nub!

"Independent films are those black and white hippie movies, they're always about gay cowboys eating pudding."

Ahh, my podunk little hometown is moving up in the world:

(Shamelessly lifted from here)
(Comments in plain are my smartass remarks. Yay!)

The Rusk County Community Library, the Wisconsin Humanities Council, and the Miner Theater present: The Ladysmith Film FestivalApril 18-20. All events are FREE! (Yay! That's something that hypocritical ass Redford probably can't claim. Free! I picked up my tickets already. Free! So fucking free that they capitalized it and gave it an exclamation point!)

Friday, April 18: Doors open at 6:00p (Rush of filmgoers occurs at 6:25 PM. Yours truly debates on whether or not to go, as it'll clash with Voyage of the Damned. Then she realizes that on the other hand, it is Voyage of the Damned, and from what she's heard it may be a bit meh. She then thanks heavens the proper season premiere isn't until the following week, and she has a VCR, so things kinda work out in the end.)

6:30 PM - Opening remarks by author Jerry Apps

7 PM - Film: The Real Dirt on Farmer John (83 mins) (Please, let his prefix be "Old" and his last name "MacDonald." E-I-E-I-Whoooo!)

Post-film discussion with Jerry Apps, Bill Berry (Future of Farming), Aliesha Crowe (Extension Agent), Dale Daggett(Local Organic Farmer) and Tracey Mofle (NW Wis. Regional Food Network)

Saturday, April 19:10:30 AM - Kids learn about Great Lakes shipwrecks with Michael Hladilek of Free Spirit Great Lakes Media (Hey kids, wanna hear about the Edmund Fitzgerald? The real story, and not some shitty 70s musical tripe? Thought so!!)

11 AM - Under an Autumn Moon: Shipwrecks on Lake Superior, followed by conversation with film makers (insert another Gordon Lightfoot crack here. *goes off to play "Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" on CD player*)

2 PM - Sweetland (111 mins) followed by conversation moderated by Bill Berry

7 PM - re-run The Real Dirt on Farmer John (Reruns already? Hell, it's Torchwood finale night, and I'll have seen this movie already...I hope.)

Sunday, April 20 Family Matinee 2 PM - Fly Away Home (108 mins) followed by conversation and interactive activities (Movie with Jeff Daniels = almost always automatic win. Movie with Jeff Daniels not featuring him on toilet thanks to Jim Carrey prank = instant win)

All Events Take Place at the Miner Theater (Miners and Hoes. USELESS NUGGET OF INFO: the theater was once known as the "Unique." Unique in that the movie always started half an hour past the scheduled showtime, and that's not even including previews. That practice is still in effect today. Except for Star Wars Episode III, which started on time but was ruined by asshole kids who wouldn't shut their fucking mouths. That's another story.)

Anyways, it'll be interesting seeing how the thing turns out. Hopefully next year we'll get a movie with gay cowboys eating pudding; it just wouldn't be an indie film fest without one.