BlanketyBlog Toilet Bowl, Week Eight

Not another rerun!!

• the Dolphins lost by a mere field goal to the Giants.
• the Rams actually had a shot but lost to the Browns.

Prediction wise, much much better!! 9-2-2 this time around. What does next week have in store?

WEEK NINE

Bye-Byes: Bears, Rams, Dolphins, Giants. The Turds will stay the same!! But you get predictions anyway! There'll be no point spread though, although the "take yer pick" rule still applies.

• 49ers vs. Falcons. The Gold-and-Whatever started off hot, but they've fizzled. I think they'll pick up the victory over Atlanta.
• Bengals vs. Bills. The Bills have been coming on strong. I think they'll score the upset over Cincy.
• Broncos vs. Lions. I could spend several paragraphs cursing out Brett Favre, but that would be wrong. I'd rather see him beat my Orange Crush than Tom Brady. Denver gets a rebound win over Detroit.
• Packers vs. Chiefs. GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!! The Chefs in an upset.
• Chargers vs. Vikings. The running backs should steal the show. It'll be San Diego with the win.
• Jaguars vs. Saints. Mehhhh. Jaguars.
• Redskins vs. Jets. Joe Gibbs is having a crappy year. The 'Skins aren't doing very well, and neither is Tony Stewart or Pampers Hamlin. Take yer pick.
• Cardinals vs. Buccaneers. Who's the QB for Arizona anyway? Tampa wins.
• Panthers vs. Titans. Apparently Vince Young played. Time to invoke Madden Curse!!! Panthers in an upset.
• Seahawks vs. Browns. I've never noticed this, but on Family Guy Cleveland's last name is Brown. Heh. Seahawks win.
• Patriots vs. Colts. Oooooooohhhhhh. How much you wanna bet this'll be one-sided? Take yer pick.
• Texans vs. Raiders. Pity the CBS viewers who get stuck with this game. Texans over Oakland.
• OOOOHHH, NEW TREEHOUSE OF HORROR AND THE 100TH FAMILY GUY! Cowboys vs. Eagles. Oh boy, TO versus McNabb for the umpteenth time. Eagles in a shocker.
• MONDAY NIGHT: Ravens vs. Steelers. Big Ben is indeed back, although he takes a backseat to about four quarterbacks in the league. Steelers should win this.

Best. Commercial. Ever.

In honor of the Unofficial Catch Phrase of BlanketyBlog, the epic mid-'90s Snickers ad.

Ahhhh.....almost makes me want to become a Kansas City fan.





Almost.

BlanketyBlog Toilet Bowl, Week Seven

Blah blah blah. Yeah, not much happened. The Turds remain the same:

• Miami got obliterated by the Cheatriots.
• The Rams lost to, uh, let me see...the Seahawks. Yeah.

Prediction wise, I sucked horribly. 4-7-2. Bleh.

WEEK EIGHT:

Bye Byes: Falcons, Cowboys, Chiefs (but here's the obligatory Great Googly Moogly!), Cardinals, Seahawks, Ravens

• Colts vs. Panthers. Possible trap game? Computer says "No!" Colts by a dozen.
• Lions vs. Bears. Normally, the Lions would be the shitty team getting wasted by Da Bears. Not this time. Lions by ten.
• Steelers vs. Bengals. What happened to Cincy? At least we've been spared Chad Johnson acting like a moron. Steelers by two touchdowns.
• Giants vs. Dolphins. In London!! That just means Miami will suck on both sides on the Atlantic. Giants, by whatever measurement the British use.
• Eagles vs. Vikings. Meh. Eagles in an upset, by a touchdown.
• Browns vs. Rams. Heh. Browns by five.
• Raiders vs. Titans. Will Vince play? Take yer pick.
• Bills vs. Jets. At least both these teams can take solace in the fact that they're not the suckiest team in the AFC East. Bills by nine.
• Texans vs. Chargers. Surefire Prediction: this game won't be played in San Diego. Chargers win anyways, by 20.
• Jaguars vs. Buccaneers. Both teams can take pride that they're not the suckiest team in Florida. Tampa by eight.
• Redskins vs. Patriots. Snore. NOTE TO MADDEN: Please put Tom Brady on the cover of Madden '09. Take yer pick.
• Saints vs. 49ers. Well, uh....49ers by six.
• WHAT? NO SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL??? NO HAVING TO SIT THROUGH THAT INSIDIOUS OPENING THEME SONG? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!
• GUESS THAT MEANS I HAVE TO BITCH ABOUT HANK WILLIAMS JR. AND HIS INCREASINGLY SAD PERFORMANCE OF "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?" DO WE REALLY NEED A BUNCH OF YUTZ MUSICIANS IN THE BACKGROUND? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THIS SONG ACTUALLY WAS DONE RIGHT FOR MNF?: Packers vs. Broncos. My head hurts after posting all that. Hey, I picked against my Orange Crush and they ended up with the win! Hell, I feel lucky!! Packers, pick yer points.

BlanketyBlog Toilet Bowl, Week Six

Well, what an interesting weekend it was!! We had our penultimate Plunge, as the New Orleans Saints are finally on the board with an upset win over Seattle.

That of course leaves just two Turds remaining:

• The Rams were obliterated by the Ravens.
• Flashback to last week, and I quote: Is this where Miami's futility ends? Computer says "No!" Browns by 10. Hmm.....Browns 41, Dolphins 31. Daaaaaamn!

Speaking of damn, my "shits and giggles" pick of the Vikings by a field goal over the Bears came true!! Overall, I pulled a 7-3-2 and one game I totally forgot about (Raiders/Chargers; I would have picked the Chargers anyway, so that'd be 8-3-2. ).

WEEK SEVEN

Bye-Byes: Browns, Packers, Chargers, Panthers

• Ravens vs. Bills. Poor Buffalo. Ravens by 15.
• Buccaneers vs. Lions. Meh. Meh. Meh. Lions by six.
• Titans vs. Texans. MADDEN CURSE! MADDEN CURSE! MADDEN CURSE! Take yer pick.
• Patriots vs. Dolphins. I will seriously shit in my pants if the Dolphins actually win. Patriots by about a hundred.
• Falcons vs. Saints. Last year this would have been a good game. Falcons by a dozen.
• 49ers vs. Giants. Two decades ago, this would have been a good game. Trent Dilfer is like forty years older than Eli. Then again, look at what Vinny Testaverde did against Arizona. I'll go with the Giants, pick yer points.
• Jets vs. Bengals. The Bengals sure fizzled, didn't they? Jets in an upset by six.
• Chiefs vs. Raiders. When the AFL existed, this would have been a good game. Have I forgotten something. Oh--- GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!! Raiders in an upset by a TD.
• Vikings vs. Cowboys. This game may actually be interesting. Adrian Peterson's been a surprise, and could keep the Cowboys reeling. I'm feeling lucky; Vikings in an upset, pick yer points.
• Bears vs. Eagles. This could be a good game. Da Bears Still Suck. Eagles by ten.
• Rams vs. Seahawks. The Seahawks lost to a former Turd, could another loss to another Turd be possible? Computer says "No!" Seahawks by 20.
• SUNDAY NIGHTER WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD AROUND 1998, ALTHOUGH IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ON TNT. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THAT GODAWFUL "WAITING ALL DAY FOR SUNDAY NIGHT": Steelers vs. Broncos. Pittsburgh is refreshed. Denver's still reeling. May my Maker strike me down, but I'm going with the Steelers, pick yer points.
• MONDAY NIGHTER: Colts vs. Jaguars. Trap game? Hmm. Take yer pick.

BlanketyBlog Toilet Bowl Week Five

Yeah, it's early and two games have yet to go final, but I thought I'd get a jump on next week.

Anyhoo, we don't Plunge anyone this week:

• Amusingly, the Dolphins, Saints and Rams all lost by a field goal. To Houston, Carolina and Arizona respectively.

So far this weekend, I've fared quite better, posting an 8-2-2 mark. The Cowboys and Bills play Monday, but I can't see the Cowboys losing to the Bills (famous last words).

WEEK SIX:

Bye-Byes: Bills, Broncos, Lions, Colts, Steelers and 49ers.

• Rams vs Ravens. Heh heh, it doesn't get any better for St. Louis, does it? Ravens by 23.
• Vikings vs. Bears. Meh. For shits and giggles, Vikings by a field goal.
• Dolphins vs. Browns. Is this where Miami's futility ends? Computer says "No!" Browns by 10.
• Redskins vs. Packers. Hmm. Green Bay needs to step up the running. However, I don't know how the game right now will end, so another take yer pick situation.
• Texans vs. Jaguars. Both have decent records. I'll go with the Jags by six.
• Bengals vs. Chiefs. Great Googly Moogly!! Bengals by 12.
• Eagles vs. Jets. Yawn. Eagles by a point.
• Titans vs. Buccaneers. Is this where Vince Young falls victim to the Madden Curse? Tampa in an upset, pick yer points.
• Panthers vs. Cardinals. The Kurt Warner era begins, again! Cards by a touchdown.
• Patriots vs. Cowboys. Ooooh, this could be a battle of unbeatens! Who wants to stay undefeated longer? Take yer pick. PS: Tom Brady, you're undefeated. Stop whining, you little bitch.
• THE NBC SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL THEME MAKES HANK WILLIAMS JR'S OVERBLOWN MONDAY NIGHT THEME SOUND LIKE A WORK OF ART: Saints vs. Seahawks. One that looked good on paper in July, not so good in October. Seahawks by 15.
• MONDAY NIGHT SHITE: Giants vs. Falcons. Meh. Giants, pick yer points.

BlanketyBlog Toilet Bowl Week Four

Brought to you by Liquid Plum'r!!

And then there were three....yep, two teams got Plunged:

• The Bills got Plunged via their win over the Jets.
• The Falcons also got Plunged with a win over the Texans.

Our Three Turds?

• The Saints had a bye.
• The Dolphins lost to Oakland.
• The Rams were shellacked by the Cowboys.

Prediction wise, I sucked. How does 5-6-3 sound? Perhaps I will fare better this go-round.

Bye Byes: Bengals, Raiders, Vikings, Eagles

• Dolphins vs. Texans. If Miami loses, they really do suck. Houston by nine.
• Jaguars vs. Chiefs: Great Googly Moogly, the AFC West has three teams tied for first! Jaguars win, pick yer points.
• Browns vs. Patriots. Booooo! Pats by a dozen.
• Panthers vs. Saints. Two heavily favored teams at the beginning of the year have done jack squat. I'll give the edge to the Panthers by six.
• Jets vs. Giants. The Battle of New York. Eli's Comin'!!! Giants by a touchdown.
• Seahawks vs. Steelers, the heavily (sic) anticipated Super Bowl XL rematch! And once again, the Steelers will come out on top by four.
• Cardinals vs. Rams. Let's just say there'll still be three Turds after Sunday. Cards by 10.
• Lions vs. Redskins. The Lions may very well be the surprise team of the NFL. I'll go with them by five.
• Buccaneers vs. Colts. The Peyton Express keeps on rolling. Colts by 17.
• Chargers vs. Broncos. Last year this would have been the Chargers by a landslide. Considering the slide San Diego is in, this is a perfect game for My Orange Crush to break their slide. Yes, I'll pick the Broncos, pick yer points.
• Ravens vs. 49ers. Meh. Take yer pick.
• SOMEWHERE, FRANK CALIENDO IS GETTING NEW MATERIAL: Bears vs. Packers. The Bears are showing the signs of the Curse of the Super Bowl Loser. However, Brett Favre can't carry the whole team on his back. Take yer pick.
• MONDAY NIGHTER: Cowboys vs. Bills. If this was 1993, this would have been one of the biggest games of the year. Another Monday Night Shitter. Cowboys by 20.