Yaghhh...What Time is It?

Right now, I would say that this month I've slept for roughly 15 hours. Insomnia fucking sucks. It doesn't help when you wake up at godawful early times and must resort to a constant stream of caffeine to get through your shift at work. Man, does my life suck or what?

Well, maybe not completely. Remember last week when I posted about the NASCAR driver appearing at a nearby (translation=about 80 miles) track in June? After budgeting the ol' paycheck, I went and bought a ticket. With that, I can scratch one of my goals off the list: "See Jeff Gordon, even if he's not racing." I so cannot wait until June.

Tomorrow's shopping day; I need to pick up some edible items for next weekend since I have to watch the house and Scamp, the Paranoid Weak-Bladdered Wonder Dog. Everybody else is going to Platteville to visit Turd Boy. Come to think of it, but that's more sleep.

Yeah, I really should be going to bed now. Nothing's worse than a bitchy shopper.

Die, Hippie, Die!!!

Oh, boy. Today's the Feast Day of the Hippie, aka Earth Day. This is when the hippies and liberals try to make us feel guilty about wrecking the planet, and that it's all the fault of the Republicans. Hey, I think that was a plot on South Park!

Come to think of it, it'd be hysterical seeing a "Happy Earth Day" card. The hippies would be screaming "Good Lord, they killed a tree for a fucking card!!" Scratch that....they're probably atheists.

FWIW, I believe in some forms of conservation, just not the ones that PETA and Greenpeace want where all the humans have to die and shit. I recycle and stuff like that. I walk when I need to make a short trip. I can't ride a fucking bike!!! What most hippies believe is so damn insane that we can't help but poke fun of them.

Like MTV. They have this annoying little bug telling us to "Break the Addiction." No, not to drugs, gangs and whores. Of course, they have this little bug during shows where people trash talk each other and "shows" where stupid spoiled whores throw insanely fucking expensive 16th birthday parties. Listen, MTV...break the addiction to shitty programs like this, and I may start walking more.

Aggh....Cartman put it best when he went on the hippie killing rampage.

BREAK THE ADDICTION!! NO MORE HIPPIES!!!

Weekend Rantings...

Welcome back, bitches!!

Yeah, I was too tired to finish whatever I was saying Tuesday night. Of course, I think I've had roughly fifteen hours of sleep all week. Insomnia is fun!!!

April's slowly winding down, and I can say that other than the referendum shit, Easter madness, and Tom Cruise continuing to act like a fucking nutcase, it hasn't been that exciting a month. May on the other hand, does look interesting. Yours truly is making another visit to Brew City on Mothers Day weekend. Yep, another Brewers game is on the agenda. I'm going on May 13th to see them hopefully Beat the Mets (bad pun alert!) on Derrick Turnbow Bobblehead Night. Free bobblehead! Yaaay!!

I'm also keeping an eye on the Cedar Lake Speedway in New Richmond, WI. A very very very famous NASCAR star not named Dale Earnhardt, Jr. is making an appearance there in late June. (Based on that, you may have a few drivers in mind) I get paid next Friday, and I'm hoping to score a seat. More on that next weekend.

Ummm, speaking of NASCAR, who do you think's going to have the fight this weekend? I'm still in hysterics over Ryan Newman trashtalking Sterling Marlin; that was better than the catfight. That still doesn't top Shove-o-Rama and Kevin Harvick's "Time to Act Like a Dickhead Again" at Bristol. Maybe Talladega will have the mayhem.

Oh, yah...I'm taking a plunge into the MySpace pool. More on that soon.

Time to wrap this little blurb and raid the soda fridge. Dew Time!!

WHEEEEEEE!!

It's Tuesday, I'm tired, and I've lost my mind!! You know what that means....NONSENSICAL POST TIME!!!

First off, Easter at the Blankety Family household went off very well. Nobody got sick or got arrested, excepting for an incident that happened last month which will go unmentioned to protect everybody involved. Nothing too serious, so don't get all freaky and crap.

After the family dinner, my sister Steph, my older brother Chad, and my two hellspawn nephews decided to go fishing. Of course, in true Olson fashion, things went haywire pretty damn fast. The little nephew ended up in the river...it was shallow, and Chad actually was sober enough to have excellent reflexes. Little Nephew is perfectly fine, except for we've all laughed our asses off at his expense. I think he's used to it, though.

Right now between typing, I'm getting stuff ready for CCD class tomorrow...the big Easter class. "But Hannah," you're not saying, "Easter was on Sunday!" Yes, I know that. However, we're now in the Easter season, which goes on for 50 days, so it's perfectly OK. I figure I can get them wound up enough on M&Ms long enough to color some Alleluia pictures.

I don't have them for too much longer, only two more lessons. I'm going to miss them. Of course, the first graders I had last year still recognize me and say hi. First Communion is this Sunday, and I sponsored my co-worker's child, who was one of my first pupils. I think I've learned quite a bit from teaching religion. Shame I can't teach myself more, especially with language. The Cuss Box may have worked, as I find myself typing less profanity, save the couple words I uttered earlier, and the few I'm probably going to prattle off later. Well, maybe not tonight.

The Original Storybook Ending....

JOHN 20: 1-18


On the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning, while it was still dark, and saw the stone removed from the tomb. So she ran and went to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them, "They have taken the Lord from the tomb, and we don't know where they put him. So Peter and the other disciple went out and came to the tomb.

They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter and arrived at the tomb first; he bent down and saw the burial cloths, but did not go in. When Simon Peter arrived after him, he went into the tomb and saw the bural clothes there, and the cloth that had covered his head, not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place. Then the other disciple also went in, the one who had arrived at the tomb first, and he saw and believed. For they did not yet understand the scripture that He had to rise from the dead. Then the disciples returned home.

But Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the body of Jesus had been.

And they said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?"
She said to them, "They have taken my Lord, and I don't know where they laid him."

When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus.

Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?"
She thought it was the gardener and said to Him, "Sir, if you carried Him away, tell me where you laid Him, and I will take Him."

Jesus said to her, "Mary!"
She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, "Rabbouni," which means Teacher.

Jesus said to her, "Stop holding onto me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. But go to my brothers and tell them, "I am going to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God."

Mary of Magdala went and announced to the disciples, "I have seen the Lord," and what He told her.




So it was written....and so it shall be told.
Have a blessed Easter.

The Lenten Cuss Box....The Final Tally

Yaaay! After six weeks, let's see how much cursing pays..

TOTAL CUSS WORDS: 3.

TOTAL AMOUNT GOING INTO CUSS BOX: $.15

Using the Offical Arithmetic of The Olson Files, Fuzzy Math, let's see the final count.

GRAND TOTAL OF CUSS WORDS: 134. Yeow.

GRAND TOTAL IN CUSS BOX: $6.75

This amount will go into the Easter collection this weekend.

Looking back on it, 134 is a lot of profanity. Compare that to my dad watching American Idol, then I don't feel so bad.

Lenten Cuss Box, Week Five

Yeah, I think I may have made a somewhat significant contribution this week. Between the Enron High School fuckups and Stupid Spoiled Whore Paris Hilton as Mother Teresa news, I either suffered major cerebral damage or a need to drink excessively.

TOTAL CUSS WORDS: 9. OK, maybe not.

TOTAL AMOUNT GOING INTO CUSS BOX: $.45

CUMULATIVE AMOUNT GOING INTO CUSS BOX: $6.55


One more week, bitches!!! Let's see how that ends up.

Dear God, NOOOO!!

Just when I thought Hollywood couldn't get more fucked up....

HILTON CONSIDERED FOR MOTHER THERESA ROLE

Yes. Paris "Stupid Spoiled Whore" Hilton.

If that's not enough to make you shit in fear, there's more.

By FilmStew Staff Report, filmstew.com


This is just taking the idea of stunt-casting to a whole new level. British web site Life Style Extra is reporting that Indian director T. Rajeevnath will be taking a trip across the world to try to convince socialite-turned-actress Paris Hilton to star in his feature biopic of the late humanitarian Mother Theresa.

Rajeevnath's people have reportedly been in contact with Hilton's camp to set up a meeting when Rajeevnath arrives in the States. According to Life Style Extra, Rajeevnath will be bringing along various photos of Hilton that have been altered to make her appear more like Mother Theresa, who died back in 1997.

"The pictures will be my strength when I speak to Paris," Rajeevnath told the web site. "She has expressed delight that I have short-listed her to play the role. This will make our meeting easier."


WHERE THE HELL'S MY ROSARY???? Gotta start praying that this shit never happens. A stupid spoiled whore playing one of the most famous humanitarians? What the fuck's next, Tom Cruise as the Pope?

Why I haven't started drinking massive amounts of alcohol yet is beyond me.

Proof That God Does Indeed Exist, Part Two

Ladysmith School Referendum - $750,000
Yes 382
No 1380

FUCK, YEAH!!!!

More on this story this week.



UPDATE 4/5 5:20 CHEESHEAD STANDARD TIME:

Yes 458
No 1665


DOUBLE FUCK YEAH!!

Lenten Cuss Box....Sunday Cuss-Free Special!!

Yaaay! I would've have posted this Friday but there was a death in the extended family this week. More on that at a different time.

So here we are, the tally, devoid of swearing:

TOTAL CUSS WORDS: 7. Yipes!

TOTAL AMOUNT GOING INTO CUSS BOX: 35 cents!

CUMULATIVE AMOUNT: $6.10


Sad thing is, this number would have been higher if I had posted after last week's Bristol race. Well, two more weeks of profanity to go.